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Since I have now been forced into a conversations about how “great” LotR is several times over the past week by fanboys of the books, I thought I would blog about the experience.

Let me start off by clarifying that I really do like J.R.R. Tolkien’s epic fantasy series Lord of the Rings. But, that said, it doesn’t make it on my 10 top list in the Fiction/Fantasy genre. And, honestly, you Tolkien fanboys really piss me off. Especially since you Tolkien fanboys regularly, and laughably always resort to the same, tired arguments to make LotR sound like it is something it was not and is not. That “same, tired argument” is an attempt to portray LotR as some unique story and everything that has come since in the realm of fantasy literature is just some thinly veiled carbon copy.

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There are just some fantasy cliches that, no matter how well the story they are written around is, just drive me batty.  This is my list:

1. Dwarves who are masters of mechanical things.

2. Elves that live a really, really, really long time.

3. Elves that are the best users of magic in the realm.

4. Elves that are haute and stuck up.

5. Ancient evil that can only be defeated by a single, chosen person and no one else.

6. An overpowering hand of fate element that makes it clear early on that the main character has no real control over his/her life

7. Worlds where all the races hate each other simply because of xenophobia.

8. When only a magic sword lost for ages can save the world and must be found.

9. The gray bearded wizard mentor.

10. Dwarves with Scottish accents.