Jun 17 2012

My Twittering Rules

Posted by Mathias in Twitter

Ok, let’s get a few things straight shall we?

I do not exist on Twitter to please you

There seems to be a common misconception among some, perhaps many, on Twitter that other people exist to please and serve them.  This is simply not true when it comes to me.  I am not on Twitter to specifically help you out.  This does not mean that I won’t help you out mind you.  It simply means that it is not my primary duty.

The best way to get me to retweet one of your tweets is to tweet something interesting

Look, I know you want to promote your book(s).  Some of you REALLY promote the heck out of them.  Kudos!  But if every Tweet you make is just another schleping of your book then I’m not really going to be all that enthused to hit the little retweet button.

Constantly begging for a retweet does not make me more interested in retweeting something

I get it!  You want a retweet!  Retweets mean mentions and mentions means more popularity.  We all want that.  But honestly?  Constantly opening your Tweets with requests for retweets makes you look desperate.  And I still only retweet when I find something interesting so the begging doesn’t help.

Just because you follow me does not mean I will follow you back

There is a sizable community on Twitter who feel, with all their heart, that just because they follow someone, said someone must follow them back.  I have heard these sorts of people refer to those who don’t automatically follow them back as “Twitter snobs”, implying that these sorts think they are too good for other people.  I find this however as simply an excuse they make for not being popular enough to warrent tons of people following them without reciprication.  These people are upset that they just cannot come up with something interesting to say to make people want to follow them.  Look, I do follow back a lot of people who follow me, especially if you are fellow author.

Yes, I MIGHT actually be interested in reading your latest book

If you write High/Epic Fantasy it is possible that I might be interested in reading your latest book.  Sci-fi too.  But, here’s the thing, I’m an author myself who also works a day job and has a family.  Plus I already read quite a lot.  Ok, now you understand why I probably can’t?  Want to know the best way to get me to read your book?  Have an audio version of it available.  I know most people don’t, but with 2 hours to kill every day during a commute that is my time to read and audio books make it much, much easier on me.

If you ask for a review, I will only give honest reviews

Warning!  Warning!  If you ask me to read your book, short story, or whatever and review it, I will give an honest review.  I don’t like people who blow smoke up my ass and I don’t blow smoke up other people’s asses either.  Over the years, people have commented to me how much better my writing has gotten.  You know how it got better?  It got better because when something was wrong and sucked people told  If you don’t want an honest book review don’t ask for one at all.

I don’t follow Twitter spammers

If you make 100 Tweets a day and each one of them is for the purpose of telling me how great your latest e-book is or a plea to buy it, I probably won’t follow you back.  But I do look at your recent tweets and see if you are saying anything other than “BUY MY BOOK!” in them before I click that follow button.

I’m sorry if you get offended by something I Tweet

But let’s get one thing straight.  I am not sorry I Tweeted it.  I am just sorry for you that you were offended by it.  Just click unfollow and go on your merry way.

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